Note: This article was originally posted at The Odyssey: To the Person that ‘Cares Too Much’
Dear person who cares too much,
I get it. Your friends and family don’t understand. They say you’re “too sensitive” or ask you “Why do you care/let it bother you?” You get told you overreact to things, or that you get attached too easily. But you can’t help it. You’ve always been that way and you really don’t know how to stop.
You care about people more than yourself. You will always drop everything you are doing in order to help those that need you. You probably always say “I’m sorry” even if you didn’t do anything wrong. You just can’t help it. I know you’ve stayed up late at night overthinking things, replaying situations and words said in your head.
Sometimes you care about people more than they care about you, and it hurts. It hurts because you can’t fathom why someone wouldn’t do the same things you’d do for them. When those expectations aren’t met, you’re devastated.
You are constantly giving people multiple chances and seeing past their imperfections. When people mistreat you, you blame yourself. You immediately recognize when people start acting differently towards you, often garnering the response “You’re looking too much into it,” but you just notice things.
You take on everyone’s emotions as your own. You find yourself constantly checking up on friends and family members just to see how they are. You’ve shown up to your friends’ houses with flowers and food to cheer them up. You listen to other people’s problems more than you talk about your own. You genuinely want those around you to be happy.
Feeling and caring so deeply about others can suck sometimes. It seems like you’re always getting hurt. The fall of a relationship or the severing of a friendship cuts like a knife and you always swear that next time you’re not going to love or care so deeply.
But you need to know that your caring heart is what this world needs. We live in a society that celebrates being the one in a relationship that cares the least. Seemingly, it is celebrated to be strong, to not care, to not feel deeply. People throw around the word “hate” every day. It isn’t a big deal when someone says they hate people or hate the world.
This is why you are needed. We don’t need more hate or selfishness in the world. We need more people with your type of heart. You have so much love and hope to give and the world needs that. Yes, you’re going to get hurt. But this is worth hurting for.
Do not let anyone, including yourself, make you view your big heart as a weakness. It is your strength. It is harder to recklessly and abashedly love others and be vulnerable than it is to not care. The people that are in your life need your love, care, and support. The world needs more people like you.
The right people will enter your life and appreciate your caring heart. Until then, keep spreading the love.
A girl that also cares too much too